Appetizer Which snack do you like to get when you go to the movies? I like to get popcorn and Junior Mints.
Soup What year did you start using the Internet? 1996. We used AOL out of the local city but realized that the phone bill was going to be too high. Used local BBS systems after that until the college I went to went Internet in 1997. We were seriously behind the times.
Salad What is your first name in Pig Latin? Oseph Jay or Oey Jay. Take your pick.
Main Course Name something you are picky about. I only like to wear Nike Sneakers. If the switch on the car that adjusts the brightness of the dashboard controls is not all the way up, I will not move that car and if someone else is driving I almost completely collapse and refuse to think about anything else until it is done.
Dessert Fill in the blanks: I _wrote some of my book_ yesterday and I _will write some more __ today.
The phone was disconnected yesterday. Payment past due. The cable is going to be the next to go, would be gone already if the man from the cable company could get out here. He has been out here once already. Why he didn’t turn it off then I don’t know. We will have it a couple of more days due to the six inches of snow on the ground. Nothing is running today.
The food is running low. We make a big pot of soup, using ingredients that will go bad if we don’t eat them soon. The soup will get us through the rest of today. We still have plenty of rice. I am starting to hate rice. There are only so many ways you can make rice exciting, and we have tried them all. At least we wont be going hungry any time soon.
If I could get out, I could get my check. My check is at school though. I am a teacher, a perfectly respectable profession. I have health insurance and a steady income. I also have a wife who is sick. At least you have benefits, they tell me. I do not like my job. I thought I wanted to be a teacher, but I quickly found out that I didn’t. I am working out my contract.
My wife and I hike a half of a mile to the corner store. We have a prepaid telephone card that we use to call our relatives and let them know that we are okay. I don’t like doing this. I feel like a failure during these conversations. I should be doing better than this at this point in my life.
When I was 10, I told my father that I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. He looked at me and told me that I would starve if I was. It was the only bad advice that he ever gave me. Walking back from the store in the snow, I think about what he said to me. I consider my current situation, and I think there must be a joke in there somewhere.
Appetizer How much money do you plan to spend this upcoming holiday season? I think we average about $20-30 a person, I don’t know how much exactly because we buy one or two presents a week. We started two weeks ago so we wouldn’t be rushed as it got closer to the holiday season.
Soup What was the last television show you watched, and was it good? I watched the NBC comedy night done right last night and they were pretty good.
Salad If you had to paint the walls of your living room tomorrow, what color would you choose? I like blue but I know my wife would never go for it.
Main Course Name something clever or practical you have thought of that should be invented, but hasn’t yet. I can’t really think of anything. My one shot at something was about 20 years ago. I thought of those pill holders for every day of the week so that people needing medication wouldn’t accidentally overdose. I was only a kid at the time and thought that everyone would think that I was stupid. They came out about a year later. The only difference is mine had a button that you pushed for your pills.
Dessert List 3 things you would like to receive as gifts this upcoming holiday season. The Lost Season Three DVD Set, a Red Sox championship Jersey, and Barnes & Noble gift cards.